


Fine Without You

by Toongrrl1990



Series: Sherman Oaks-Stoneybrook Connection [1]
Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin, Never Have I Ever (TV), The Baby-Sitters Club (TV 2020)
Genre: Aunt-Niece Relationship, Colorism, Complicated Female Character, Crossover, Dramedy, Father-Daughter Relationship, Femininity, Friendship, Gen, Gender Roles, Grief, Humor, Indian Character, Male-Female Friendship, Masculinity, Mother-Daughter Relationship, POV Third Person, Parenthood, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Race, Single Parents, Snark, Strict Parents, Support Groups, Teenage Daughters, Widowed, non sexist male character, old fashioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26601574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toongrrl1990/pseuds/Toongrrl1990
Summary: Just pretend okay?Nalini and Richard strike up a friendship in just 45 minutes before a meeting and they bond over being widowed parents and having teenage daughters.
Series: Sherman Oaks-Stoneybrook Connection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947049
Comments: 37
Kudos: 6





	Fine Without You

“Why have I shown up here?” Nalini Vishwakumar thought to herself. If it weren’t for the sake of repairing her relationship with her daughter and even the goal of repairing her own broken heart, she wouldn’t have attended this support group for widowed single parents of teenagers. She also wouldn’t have gone without the encouragement of Dr. Ryan, someone that Nalini wouldn’t have seeked out for her daughter if it weren’t for the emergency that almost drowned Devi after Mohan had died.

“I almost lost both daughter and husband that day,” she thought.

It didn’t help that most of the parents attending were crunchy white people who dropped words like “positivity” or were likely to let their children run around exposing themselves or run the dishwasher every night.

“Mohan should have been here,” she thought, “I wish he was here instead of me.” He was always open to American ways and to taking big risks, even activities that didn’t seem very familiar to their Desi elders. He was the one that smoothed over any awkwardness at barbeques or any interactions with Americans ignorant to their traditions and the toast of any school event where they had to interact with other parents. She was going to be bad: she decided to go to a soda machine and get a large drink of soda, Kamala’s warnings about the dangers of sugar be damned. It was what, 40 minutes until the meeting actually started? She could go for a few glorified bottles of sugar water herself. Distracted by her own thoughts, she bumped into a person. “Ah! Watch yourself! Young people are too distracted by their phones these days!”

“Oh excuse me,” said a masculine, White sounding voice. Nalini saw a tall, slim, red-haired man who looked like he walked right out of _Mad Men_ (oh how she and Mohan loved watching that show, though she suspected Devi was paying too much attention to the shamelessly wanton and sharp-tongued ways of Joan Holloway while watching it behind Nalini’s back). He was wearing a sweater with a patterned, starch collared shirt underneath, crisply ironed pants, a windbreaker, his pale face showed signs of mid-age and some worry, and his hair looked like it was slicked to his head. “Forgive me, Ms….” he awkwardly tried to address her as he held his hand out.

“Vishwakumar, you can address me as Nalini,” replied the very frank South Asian woman with wavy dark shoulder-length hair as she took Richard’s hand. “I’m a dermatologist, and your name?” She was a tall and slender woman, very classy in a neutral toned suit with an eggplant-colored silk blouse that highlighted the pinks and deep browns of her complexion. He took her hand, “Richard Spier, I’m a lawyer visiting from Stoneybrook, Connecticut” and smiled at the middle-aged woman before him.

“I see you are here for this group too?” Nalini asked, Richard observed past her stoic demeanor, she seemed very nervous, like she wasn’t used to being in large crowds or even to support groups. “No, therapy is not for me, I’m Indian,” she looked to him and apologized for her rudeness “I shouldn’t have said that.” He smiled, “She sounds like Alma’s parents” he thought and replied: “It’s fine, I was never good with being around a lot of people or being open with my feelings myself,” it was natural for him and it likely came from his own parents teaching him to be stoic about what life gave him and not give into emotion. “Do you see me crying after someone lets their dog bite my leg?” asked his father whenever Richard was about to cry.

“You don’t look comfortable yourself,” Nalini replied with a raised eyebrow. Richard thought, “Nothing escapes this woman”, he answered “Actually no, I’m not very comfortable, I’m not exactly the easy-going or go-with-the-flow type like my daughter’s friends’ parents.” Nalini smirked, “Are we supposed to be? This is the trouble with America, parents want to be best friends to their children and forget to discipline them right and they all end up working at Jersey Mikes and getting drunk and voting for fat, loud, idiots”. Richard looked like he was trying not to laugh. “You may have a point,” he replied “A former neighbor and a mother of one of my daughter’s friends, her name is Liz. She thinks I’m crazy and I tuck my shirt in too tight and that she is more fun because she orders pizza.” Nalini rolled her eyes: “I would have fun saying something savage, as my daughter would say, to that woman,” she replied. Richard laughed and Nalini felt a little less lonely. She was always serious since childhood; her mother told her that she came out of the womb not crying or giggling, but with a stone-faced expression. Granted, her parents weren’t the type to encourage frivolous play or for her to “just chill” like she heard many American people say. It was studying, chores, excellent performances, all to go to university and work until she was either married or started having children. It was important she got married, so important she impressed a man’s family and the man, “You are very dark, men like pretty girls”. Her older brother Aravind didn’t have the same expectations, he is over 50 and still unmarried and enjoys his career as a security expert, and somehow he felt he was an authority on marriages and raising children.

Richard saw his companion’s eyes get moist and started grabbing some tissue paper, “Oh no here, don’t worry there is no chafing on the tissue.” Nalini gratefully grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes, “I feel a bit over my head since my husband Mohan died, especially with my daughter, she is 15 and at one point she said she felt I don’t like her and that she wished I was the one who had the heart attack.” Richard kept a straight face: it wasn’t easy raising Mary Anne after Alma died, everyone one had an opinion about whether he’d raise Mary Anne properly due to him being a man with a daughter or a white man with a half-black child, he watched the news on Police Brutality, read about Black kids who were suspended just for wearing their hair a certain way, he had help but golly it wasn’t easy and it was even harder for a natural introvert like himself. “I understand,” he replied “it’s not easy for me, I get so afraid of losing her or if I loosen up just a little, there will be catastrophe. I tell myself if she is anything like my late wife Alma, then I succeeded and I did when I saw her respectfully tell two doctors to stop misgendering a colleague of mine’s daughter she was babysitting.” Nalini smiled, “Your daughter babysits?” Richard gave a bashful smile, “She does, the children she babysits love her, she always plays with them or helps them with their homework and even reads to them. The parents tell me that she is the one who is able to keep their kids away from the screen.” Nalini smirked, “And you thought you were going to fail, you are doing better than most parents in America. She sounds very proper and accomplished at her age, you should hear about my Devi.”

Richard looked interested and deadpanned, “Go on.” Nalini started: “My Mohan affectionately called her ‘a firecracker’ just like his hero John McEnroe was. She is very competitive, she has had a lot of awards, she used to swim before her accident, she used to play the harp and table tennis with Mohan, and she was a bright and happy child. But that temper! My birth with her was not very easy!” Richard and Nalini both laughed, “Mary Anne’s birth was an all-night affair.” Nalini sighed, “Then she came of age and we are fighting so much, I am much stricter with her than Mohan, he always had a way of settling her down and getting her focused in a way that was so gentle and convincing. Her last concert was horrible, I was going to ground her for losing her practice book,” Richard looked surprised but encouraged her to keep going “And she screamed that she hated me, I felt like I was at the end of my rope and I told Mohan so, then I guess she overheard me telling him that and carried that with her for over a year. She found her book and she gave a beautiful performance but in the middle of it, Mohan suffered a heart attack and died that night.” Richard opened up, “Alma got diagnosed with leukemia when Mary Anne was 18 months old and she had Stage Two Cancer, we thought there was plenty of time but just before she was going to teach me another hairstyle, she died.” Nalini continued, “And it isn’t all, later when Devi was at swim practice, she lost the use of her legs and almost drowned and had to be in a wheelchair, I thanked God that her friends were these very nice girls who were with her every step of the way, I was so thankful that one day at Costco, something made my _kanna_ get up on her own feet. It was a miracle.”

Richard was stunned, “She sounds very tenacious, I would not be surprised if my daughter’s babysitter’s club wanted her as a member,” thinking of Liz’s daughter Kristy, he wondered if the two headstrong and accomplished girls would get along or clash due to similar personalities. Nalini laughed, “No my Devi needs babysitting much more. That girl started getting into trouble her sophomore year, I had to make my niece Kamala watch her. Devi went to a party one time where she got drunk and got attacked by a coyote,” Nalini choked back tears, Richard squeezed her hand “then I found her with this teenage Adonis at the hospital and he looked too interested in my daughter.” She didn’t blame that boy (Braxton? Paxton?) for his interest, men seemed drawn to fiery women naturally, she was very talented, Devi inherited her father’s energy and sunny outlook, and she has a lovely mix of her and Mohan’s features. Also American men don’t seem put off by dark skin like the Indian men she met when she was meeting with a matchmaker, until Mohan, who regarded her as a beauty and personality comparable to Kate Hudson and he was like a Tamil Matthew McConaghey. But she couldn’t help but feel that he was using her for his own ends, she did do more of the work on a group project, and it seemed that men like him with mediocre intelligence and good looks were used to getting what they wanted from women.

Richard took a deep breath, he can see how tense Nalini’s face and shoulders became when she mentioned the boy, “My Mary Anne is interested in this boy from her school, and thankfully he seems much more meek and earnest than the boy you mentioned. I still worry.” Mary Anne looked so much like her mother with bright, pretty brown eyes and clear skin with a straight smile and a quiet but determined manner in her eyes like Alma would get when he would catch her in court fighting a case; but outwardly Mary Anne inherited his introversion and her aversion to conflict, whereas he’d retreat into his shell, she would explode. When he learned from the camp that Mary Anne personally directed…and starred in a camp production of _Paris Magic_ , he was so proud and he caught her having a special glow about her…one that got his Catholic mother and Baptist mother-in-law very suspicious. “Keep an eye on her, you don’t want her running around and running her mouth like she is one of Liz Brewer’s kids or like she is Liz, that girl did not listen when her mother told her not to marry Patrick Thomas and look what happened!” Richard cleared his throat, “Mind if I show you a picture of Alma and Mary Anne?” Nalini nodded, she was pretty curious about her new friend’s daughter and late wife, of course she wanted to tell him what happened with Devi staying over at Ben Gross’s house and finding them kissing in the car after they spread Mohan’s ashes in Malibu. Richard pulled out two pictures, one of a woman early 2000’s clothing and micro-braided bobbed hair and a young girl with her hair in two plaits. “This is Alma,” Nalini saw a beautiful African-American woman with light brown skin looking very confident and professional, not too dissimilar from Fabiola Torres’s manner. “She was very stunning and she looks so intelligent,” Richard blushed and handed her the other picture of a young dark-haired girl with horn-rimmed glasses, Nalini saw she was an adorable child with a bright smile, very light beige skin, and lively eyes, and she was dressed very proper (a pink collar, blue sweater, khaki pants, all pressed and not showing off her skin, sort of like how she wished Devi would do more. “She is a beautiful child and she looks so well-behaved and proper, like my niece Kamala was at that age.”

Richard got excited, “Now I’m curious to see your family.” Nalini looked inside her purse and pulled out two pictures from her pocketbook, “Here is Mohan,” handing Richard a picture of a man on a moped. Richard peered at the picture in his hand: Mohan was a tall, handsome man with a very lean and developed build and a jawline not too dissimilar to his own but the man had a very bright smile and looked vaguely like Cary Grant in the screwball comedies he starred in. “Nalini, he looked very good, clearly you two made a handsome couple.” She beamed and looked more relaxed this time before handing him another picture, this time of two young women with long dark hair. “The lighter one is my niece Kamala and the darker one is my daughter Devi,” she still wondered how Kamala was able to achieve a lighter complexion than most of the family. Richard looked at the young women: despite Kamala’s own stunning looks, she achieved a very innocent and modest countenance with the wide-eyed optimism he saw with his own child and her friends but she was clearly of college age; he clapped his eyes on Devi and saw a pretty teen with an enthusiastic and slightly cocky look on her face, like she came up with a big idea that Kristy Thomas would have come up with. “You have such a beautiful family Nalini,” he said. Nalini smiled in relief, this is what Pandit Raj told them after she dropped him off to pick out a fountain, it made her feel so much better about how she was raising Devi despite the concerns of the Aunties and Devi’s outspoken to the point of rudeness behavior.

“Do you want exchange contacts? I feel you need someone who will help you keep your feet firm on the ground as you raise your beautiful child,” offered Nalini “Maybe I can get a chance to tell off this Liz Brewer.” Richard and she chuckled, as someone announced the session has started and everyone can come in. As they walked in, Richard turned to her, “My girlfriend Sharon suggested I come here while we visit California, what brought you here?” figuring that Nalini needed a nudge to get her to attend this group, Nalini told him, “My child’s therapist, and how my child got a therapist is related to that drowning.” They both grinned, as it was the beginning of a fruitful friendship between two former strangers who wanted to see their children mirror their late parents and be better versions of their still-living parents while learning to get along with their dearly departed partners.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from the Best Coast song "Fine Without You", which I listened to over and over again when still mourning ex-friends or my late boyfriend. 
> 
> Perhaps a sequel of some one shot drabbles?
> 
> Some of what I wrote on Richard's POV is embellished from the original book series (his father was a mailman) and his upbringing. 
> 
> The motivation of this fanfic can be summed up by Poora Jagannathan (Nalini): "Those are the people with agency, so they’re the center of their own story. The perspective is [often] only of the kids going through life, and the parents are presented as obstacles to get to what they want to do. The moms sometimes feel like caricatures, only wanting their kids to get married, or being a little subservient.”
> 
> Nalini's comments regarding skin came from an interview in Glamour magazine with Maitreyi Ramakrishan (Devi) where she talks about it regarding colorism within the Indian community and from an interview that Black Feminist Kimberly Nicole Foster did with Indian Feminists regarding the reality show "Indian Matchmaker" makes me think that Nalini has her own issues regarding skin tone, even from her childhood experience: "A lot of the South Asian community—when it comes to our parents—forgets to tell the younger generation that they are pretty and beautiful, because they themselves haven’t been told that. Their moms weren’t told that. My mom has always told me that, and I'm so appreciative she did. That gave me the confidence when I walked into school because my mom made me feel my brown skin was dope as fuck. 
> 
> It's something I’m really passionate about, because I know so many fellow South Asian girls that haven’t been told they're beautiful, and they take that to heart. It’s heartbreaking. I feel like that’s also the story of Devi in 'Never Have I Ever'. She doesn’t feel she’s beautiful, and maybe that’s because her mom hasn’t told her that. It’s such a real thing, so while it's not beauty advice, it’s what my mom has taught me, and I'm so grateful for it."


End file.
